Thank you, Clark. Last night I ran composer remove kilowhat/flarum-ext-wordpress
and that let me back into my backend. (Though strangely, the "login with wordpress" option was still shown as a button on the flarum login, but at least I had my regular flarum login back - for everyone's future reference it is not advisable to enable the "only allow wordpress login" option until you are sure everything is working)
Today I reinstalled the extension and continued my troubleshooting. Looking into flarum's .htaccess, I discovered that flarum's "http:authorization" line was commented out. I uncommented that line but then wordpress was back to giving a 401! Turns out, wordpress rewrites .htaccess when you save its settings.
So now finally after adding the cloudlfare origin certificate to site ground along with an additional let's encrypt certificate for both the wordpress domain and the flarum subdomain, updating the wordpress .htaccess as below and uncommenting the http authorization line in flarum's .htaccess, it is finally working!
# PREVENT WP AUTO MODS
# @ https://m0n.co/08
<IfModule mod_ignore_wordpress.c>
# BEGIN WordPress
# The directives (lines) between BEGIN WordPress and END WordPress are
# dynamically generated, and should only be modified via WordPress filters.
# Any changes to the directives between these markers will be overwritten.
<IfModule mod_rewrite.c>
RewriteEngine On
RewriteBase /
RewriteRule ^index\.php$ - [L]
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-f
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-d
RewriteRule . /index.php [L]
</IfModule>
# END WordPress
</IfModule>
# CUSTOM WORDPRESS
<IfModule mod_rewrite.c>
RewriteEngine On
RewriteBase /
RewriteCond %{HTTP:Authorization} ^(.*)
RewriteRule .* - [e=HTTP_AUTHORIZATION:%1]
RewriteRule ^index\.php$ - [L]
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-f
RewriteCond %{REQUEST_FILENAME} !-d
RewriteRule . /index.php [L]
</IfModule>
I now have one final problem: upon login from flarum, wordpress is not properly redirecting. The wordpress login window stays open and redirects (within that window) to "https://concept.app/flarum-auth" which is a 404. (But I am successfully logged into flarum if I reload the page)
I'm stoked to almost be through with this journey and I hope my struggles can help others who are trying to get this running on shared hosting. Thanks for your help, @clarkwinkelmann and @[deleted]